The Scarlet

Stickin' it to the man since 1927.

Horoscopes

Predicted by Claire Hunt and Noreena Chaudari

Aries (3/21 to 4/19) – Don’t feed into your roommates crazy behaviors.

Taurus (4/20 to 5/20) – Set two alarms before your exam; the first one just might not go off.

Gemini (5/21 to 6/21) – Now’s the time to do your last minute planting.

Cancer (6/22 to 7/22) – Even though it’s finals week, it is still not acceptable to wear monochromatic sweatsuits in public.

Leo (7/23 to 8/22) – No, your phone is not broken. They just are not texting you.

Virgo (8/23 to 9/22) – When you question pizzeritas, the answer is yes.

Libra (9/23 to 10/22) – Now is the time to cease the day. The opportunities that lay before you are endless.

Scorpio (10/23 to 11/21) – Time to start scraping that mysterious goop out of the bottom of your fridge.

Sagittarius (11/22 to 12/21) – Today will not be the day that your printer will be broken.

Capricorn (12/22 to 1/19) – Show up to the library more than 5 minutes before your paper is due… there will be a long line at the printer.

Aquarius (1/20 to 2/18) – Just because it’s sunny, doesn’t mean it won’t rain.

Pisces (2/19 to 3/20) – Don’t let your pets loose; take them home.

 

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