News of the Weird

Five articles about weird whales

by Claire Tierney
Scarlet Staff

Whale War II

The Federal Appeals Court in San Francisco was faced with a pressing lawsuit against the Navy, which was filed in the name of some of San Francisco’s unrepresented residents, namely its marine mammals. The suit claimed that naval sonar disrupted their underwater communication. The case was ultimately dismissed, as the court ruled that federal environmental laws can only be challenged by people, not whales.

Don’t fart in the pool

The great scientists of the Australian Antarctic Division were recently on a research mission to attach tracking devices to whales in order to study their habits further. The satellite photos managed to capture what is believed to be a historical first photo, that is “the water pattern that results from the bubble when a huge whale releases flatulence.” Researcher Nick Gales reports, “It does stink.”

One night stand

New information about Beluga mating habits has surfaced; much to the delight of the general public I am sure. The male beluga signals his arousal by crashing into a female. If the female is inclined to mate, she turns to expose herself to the male, after which mating occurs for a matter of seconds. After this, the male leaves, never to be seen by the female again.

Blubber bomb

A crisis in Taiwan surprised all when a dead sperm whale, weighing about fifty tons, about fifty feet in length, exploded during transport by flatbed truck through Taiwan City. On its way to Cheng Kung University, it likely exploded due to a buildup of gasses from decomposition. Evidently, bystanders and nearby cars were drenched in blood and innards.

A fishy smell

In Sydney, Australia, a vacationing family discovered a solid fatty substance on the beach, which proved to the vomit of an Australian whale. This substance is coveted and quite expensive, as its use in the fragrance industry is somehow irreplaceable. The amount of vomit discovered by the family is expected to sell for $215,000.

 

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